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Docile

Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl

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0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 2 weeks
0 of 1 copy available
Wait time: About 2 weeks
For readers of Crying in H Mart and Minor Feelings as well as lovers of the film Minari comes a "scorchingly honest...hugely evocative memoir" (Helen Macdonald, New York Times bestselling author of H Is for Hawk) about the daughter of ambitious Asian American immigrants and her search for self-worth.
A daughter of Korean immigrants, Hyeseung Song spends her earliest years in the cane fields of Texas where her loyalties are divided between a restless father in search of Big Money, and a beautiful yet domineering mother whose resentments about her own life compromises her relationship with her daughter. With her parents at constant odds, Song learns more words in Korean for hatred than love. When the family's fake Gucci business lands them in bankruptcy, Song moves to a new elementary school. On her first day, a girl asks the teacher: "Can she speak English?"

Neither rich nor white, Song does what is necessary to be visible: she internalizes the model minority myth as well as her beloved mother's dreams to see her on a secure path. Song meets these expectations by attending the best Ivy League universities in the country. But when she wavers, in search of an artistic life on her own terms, her mother warns, "Happiness is what unexceptional people tell themselves when they don't have the talent and drive to go after real success." Years of self-erasure take a toll on Song as she experiences recurring episodes of depression and mania. A thought repeats: I want to die. I want to die. Song enters a psychiatric hospital where she meets patients with similar struggles. So begins her sweeping journey to heal herself by losing everything.

"A celebration of resilience and a testament to the power of art to heal and transform" (Chloé Cooper Jones, two-time finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and author of Easy Beauty), Docile is one woman's story of subverting the model minority myth, contending with mental illness, and finding her self-worth by looking within.
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    • Kirkus

      May 1, 2024
      The emotional journey of a Korean American writer and painter from child to adult shows her struggle to fulfill her parents' dreams while finding her own way in the world. How do you attain academic and financial success without selling your soul? How do you find meaning in life? These are two of the many existential questions that haunted Song as she grew up as one of the few Asian American students in her suburban Houston high school, then as a striving Ivy League college and law school student, before defying her parents and stepping off the corporate track to become an artist. The author also grappled with her identity, caught between two cultures. Like many offspring of immigrant parents, she felt neither truly Korean nor American. It was not until her time as a college intern in South Korea, where she was sexually assaulted--and then shunned--that she realized the U.S. was her home. "I had tried to operate as a Korean in Korea," writes the author, "but attempting to fit into my native country, about which I had an abstract, mythical understanding, had only compromised me." Song describes how she suffered several bouts of depression that were so bad she had to be hospitalized. In straightforward prose, the author chronicles these periods of hopelessness, as well as her anguish about her distant relationship with her husband, who helped nurse her back to health. Many characters flit in and out of the text; while some are fully fleshed, others are two-dimensional. Across nine chapters, Song covers most of her life, which means that some seemingly important topics--such as her reconciliation with her mother--get short shrift. Nonetheless, the author's voice is strong and assured throughout the narrative. A cleareyed look at the difficulty of navigating different cultures and expectations.

      COPYRIGHT(2024) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Booklist

      June 1, 2024
      In 1996, Song was the only girl in her Houston graduating class to be Ivy League-bound. More striking than academic achievement was her resilient survival. She was the oldest of three children of often abusive Korean immigrants, her father a serial entrepreneur intent on becoming a billionaire, her resentful mother a nurse with the only consistent paycheck. Song's depression then--"I felt ashamed, and I wanted to die"--went unrecognized. Princeton promised more. "I was headed to where intellectuals live and do intellectual things . . . knowledge would bring me happiness and render me visible to myself--past my race, past the complicated history of my family, past everything that clung to me but was not actually me." When white, wealthy, entitled Princeton proved "the same as it ever was," Song persevered in growing her paper successes--entering Harvard Law, starting a Harvard PhD--until she awoke in a psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. Choosing to live requires a crucial journey to discovering her true, unadorned self. Song's literary self-portrait is formidable testimony to claiming her powerful artistry.

      COPYRIGHT(2024) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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  • English

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