How to Find a Four-Leaf Clover

November 6, 2023
Rodgers, a relationship counselor on Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum, draws from 30 years’ worth of experience working with autistic individuals in her sensitive debut exploration of neurodivergence. Writing that “the skills of empathy are... tested by difference,” Rodgers sheds light on the behavior of people she’s encountered throughout her career, among them six-year-old Emily, who threw a fit when she discovered that her neighborhood grocery store layout had shifted (“rigid and repetitive thinking” makes it tough for people with autism to accept change), and Sebastien, an elementary schooler who struggled to participate in classroom activities that didn’t reference Spider-Man (an “incredible capacity to hyper-focus” on one topic “to the exclusion of everything else” is a classic autism trait). Elsewhere, Rodgers draws broader lessons about the nuances of human needs and behaviors—a discussion of how autistic people can struggle to understand reciprocity leads to her observation that “it’s about knowing each other’s needs... we can demonstrate reciprocity by giving to people, but they might support us by giving back in a completely different way.” Basing her conclusions on fine-grained observations of her clients, Rodgers illuminates the contours of the autistic brain and in the process makes a deeply felt case for the value of embracing others’ neurological particularities. It’s a persuasive testament to “the beauty in difference.”

January 1, 2024

With more than two percent of the U.S. population diagnosed with autism, it behooves neurotypical people to have a better understanding of their neighbors, coworkers, and friends on the autism spectrum. Rodgers, drawing on over three decades of experience as a therapist and educator (and as a participant on the TV series Love on the Spectrum) suggests that readers develop new ways of perceiving individuals and forming deeper connections. Vignettes of her experiences with autistic clients and friends demonstrate the similarities and differences between neurotypical and autistic individuals. Astute readers will be able to extend the ideas to improve other relationships. Rodgers discusses various ways of sensing, thinking, feeling, and communicating, the role that personal connections play in individual mental health, and the ways many autistic people mask their condition and adopt various personae to fit in with mainstream society. She says that exhibiting patience and leaving space for autistic individuals to become their authentic selves can lead to fuller relationships. VERDICT Memorable, poignant, and heartwarming, Rodgers's stories provide welcome insight into the lives of autistic people.--Lydia Olszak

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